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:iconoilux: More from Oilux


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Submitted on
October 5, 2012
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If every mistake I ever made
was a scar on my body
there would be no pure skin.

Every inch would host a jagged line
where my so called 'selfish pride'
managed to get the better of me.

Idiot mistakes of my youth,
and moronic declarations
of what I thought was insignificant.

Mistakes, errors of judgment,
a complete lapse in sense,
that litter my skin with memories of pain.

For a moment
I thought I was important
not someone to be overlooked.

My selfish pride betwixt me
for everything was little
compared to the pride I raised.

A fall to Earth
waking on concrete
no one besides me.

My mistakes are scars
littering my skin
tainting once pure flesh.

Blunders of thoughts,
guilt as endless as the sky,
never ending weight of it.

My mistakes,
are meant to be just that
mistakes.

Though they haunt my thoughts everyday
I can't help but hope that one day
they will be scars instead of thoughts
so everyone else will know
they thoughts that haunt me everyday.
An apology, in a way. To friends and family who won't forget the past.




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:iconkikumizu:

I wish I had made more mistakes to learn from; I feel so green as the world is finally opening me up to be torn apart by others. Though I am speaking of jobs and experience, I do not try to belittle the piece, just offering in what way I can understand it.

Also, the last line "They thoughts that haunt me everyday" I think you mean "The thoughts..." Small trip-up.

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:iconoilux:
Oilux Sep 9, 2013  Student Writer
I most likely did. Thank you!
Reply
:iconkikumizu:
A minor slip may or may not trip a piece. I don't think it did for me but better safe than sorry. I have had people who have had a small mistake in a crucial area of their work and it completely ruined the tension.
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:icondracogirl121:
:) Its a good poem
<3 ~
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Oct 18, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
:iconluvthemhungergames:
LuvThemHungerGames Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
May you please resend this critique to me? I apologize :) As still being a newb here I often don't know how to work everything. And when I moved my critiques from my deviant watch folder to my critique requests folder I lost them :/ So could you possibly send that again? (and the other poem you requested?) *Sheepish grin* Thanks :D
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:iconthemonsterinsideme:
... This needs way more attention. This is openly and AMAZINGLY written-- so honest and apologetic... I love it.
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Oct 6, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconpje0860:
pje0860 Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I understand that...=C
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