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August 4, 2012
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I once met a girl named Anne
and what a lovely girl was she.
She sat in corners and talked
and talked when no one listened.

While lovely Anne was so lovely
no one went near lovely Anne
and her never-ending talking.

Lovely Anne with black hair
and dark skin. Never listened
to the voice of society.

Lovely Anne talked of a world
so unlike our own.
No one went near her,
but everyone listened
to the thoughts of a wonderful world.

Lovely Anne lived in a world
where the clocks struck thirteen
where everyone loved
where everyone smiled
and tears were never shed.

The walls and floors
objects and papers
that she talked to day and night
held to her words
and wished for her world.

Poor Lovely Anne had no friends.
But lived in a world that was entirely her own.
Lovely Anne who never left her world
and thought reality was imaginary.
I'm not crazy, my reality's just different from yours.

Written for #Heart-of-Poetry's prompt of reality.


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:iconotakuartist332:
Critique by otakuartist332 Aug 5, 2012, 8:33:44 PM
Very lovely poem especially if it was about a person who is lonely and lovely. I think it was very creative, and the gloominess suited the poem. Visually, i can imagine how Anne suffered a lot by being ignored, and talking on her own. I can see who Anne looks like. I think it was very original...i don't think anyone else but you can write a great poem that has so much expression and a lot of visual. I think there was a lot of impact on Anne, and how much empathy you have for her (or sympathy for her). I think this a sad, but awesome poem!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconrouge-fox:
I would first of all like to say this is a beautiful piece but I find it beautiful for two reasons. Firstly it is quite a sweet tale, something I'd imagine to be told by a child as there is a clear air of innocence. Secondly I like the rather nice twist of perception and how it challenges our own. We could easily say that this is a tale of a sweet little girl who couldn't take the harsh and unfair ways of reality so she simply shut it out and went to live in her own fantasy world because it's the only thing she could do. However what makes this quite innocent and sweet is that this is something we all have done, when we were young we often went into our own fantasy world when reality became too much. What right have we then to say lovely Anne is crazy? She's not, she's lovely and sweet just like this poem.
What do you think?
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1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconwishfully-yours:
wishfully-yours Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Great job on creating a good picture of Anne in a limited amount of words. This piece left me feeling more inspired than I was a few moments ago, not to mention it was pleasant and quick to read . =)
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Student Writer
Oh my thank you so much for the wonderful comment. :blush:
Reply
:iconknittywitty:
knittywitty Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
The tone sounds like a serial killer, which gives it an entirely different feel. I like it!
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Student Writer
Oh wow thank you!
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:iconxxbellabrexx:
xxbellabrexx Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Very vivid, I could definitely formulate a picture of Anne. I love your word choice and your pacing was flawless. Great work (:
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much! That means so much to me.
Reply
:icondomosushiluver:
DomoSushiLuver Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012
wow that's really amazing oh my god that is the most fantastic thing ever you go!!! :D
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:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Student Writer
Lol thanks!
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:icondomosushiluver:
DomoSushiLuver Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012
no prob
Reply
:iconcarlangas531:
carlangas531 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Student General Artist
everybody has is own world
reality or not they live ther!!
everybody is a litted insane.
don't be shalfish and write something that conect the litted insane world of everybody...
i'm sorry if my english is bad , but i'm from venezuela.
:ashamed:
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