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Submitted on
November 8, 2012
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A note in a bottle,
a message for the world.

'If I scream as loud as I could,
would you be able to hear me?


Thrown into the ocean
for the sea to swallow
the single sentence.

As the sea swallows its prize
she lets out a horrible hollow cry
for the world to hear.

The world does nothing
but capture her scream
and store it for later
when it asks why she cries
and why she hurts.

For if she screams as loud as she could
would the world listen?

Or is it just a message in a bottle
meant to be swallowed by the sea?
Like my poetry? Then please like my facebook page!
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Add a Comment:
 
:iconneko-chan199:
Neko-Chan199 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nice work!!
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconneko-chan199:
Neko-Chan199 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No prob!
Reply
:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
By what I see, it lacks the rhythm. Kinda hard to swallow, really. But the idea and the potential of the imagery is Godlike.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. I will try to work on it as much as I can to be better in the future.
Reply
:iconchaos1976:
chaos1976 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Like the poem, but if you DO hear the world's screams....shouldn't the message in the bottle say "stop littering"? Or maybe "please recycle"?!
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Lmao omg I didn't even think of that.
Reply
:iconaifos96:
Aifos96 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like it, I like the structure and I like the message, nice :)
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconaifos96:
Aifos96 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Np :)
Reply
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