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Death knocked on the door
came inside without invitation
poured herself some tea
and asked for a story.

He laughed at all the right parts,
cried when I cried,
asked for more than she received
silently demanding.

It cried with me and laughed with me
sipping their tea and listening
she wondered what I didn’t do
then told me how idiotic I was.

He told me about the children
I could have had but didn’t
and the falls that lifted me up
with the loss of others.

The story of how I almost killed a girl
when she ran into the street
scared her to run into the arms of her father
and never ran into the street again.

The tale of the man who was meant for me
yet still didn’t want me
and that was not my fault but his
for his life went on a different path.

Death pushed in his chair and declared,
‘It’s time for you to go’
despite my tea’s warmth
and my story was not quite finished.

‘I’m not ready to go’
I bellowed and threw my cup
it shattered but did not crash
hot tea spilled yet did not stain.

‘That does not matter, it is time.’
One long hand stretched out
beckoning me forward
promises that could not be said.

‘Time for what?’
I asked, still I knew the answer
for when the tea spilled and didn’t stain
and the cup fell but did not break, I knew.

‘Time to die.’
I had no choice, I had to go
for I was dead long before
death came to visit.
I combined two prompts, one from %PoeticalCondition's prompt of 'I never think about _____ anymore.' (my deviation was featured here) and the prompt from #writingmadefun of 'If Death Knocked On My door Today' (did not win).


Before you all start about how I said the gender of death changed a bunch, that is on purpose. Most people think of death as a man, but really I have never seen any indication that death was a girl or a boy, so I tried to incorporate that into my work. In my piece, death is called a man, woman, and an it. Since death is merely a skeleton, I took a bit of liberty with that.

Please let me know what you think, how I can improve, and other suggestions!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconspreadsandshuffles:
SpreadsAndShuffles Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Student Writer

I agree that Death, or the concept and portrayal of Death, is genderless. Look at Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" comics - Death is a goth-y female with an Ankh, which ironically means life in Ancient Egypt.

 

Or, you can check out my page about my own little story on N.G.'s Death here - spreadsandshuffles.deviantart.… 

Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Student Writer
Wow thank you!
Reply
:iconilikeeatingcatnipi:
ilikeeatingcatnipi Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013
this is awsome yr poems are so random :juggle:
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Student Writer
I know, I just write about whatever I feel like.
Reply
:iconrunswithbooks:
RunsWithBooks Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013
I really enjoyed this, and I kind of appreciate the stylistic thing with the gender changing... it's a little odd to read but I like where the idea comes from. "The tale of the man who meant for me" possibly should be 'who WAS meant for me'?
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Student Writer
Ah yes you're right! Thank you for pointing that out.
Reply
:iconbornfreak:
BornFreak Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist
That's one of the most beautoful poems I've ever read in my life... really, I'm enchanted! Amaizng work, amazing story! :love:
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my thank you so much for the absolutely best comment ever!
Reply
:iconbornfreak:
BornFreak Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist
Oh my, really? :happycry: Well, you're so much welcome, dear! :aww:
Reply
:icongilpires:
GilPires Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Thumbs UP!
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconsumersela:
sumersela Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
epic :D
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconsumersela:
sumersela Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome :D
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This was beautifully planned and executed. It flowed with such ease, that I hardly realized that I had lost myself in the imagery and story you presented until I had finished reading (even then, there was some disappointment, because I think your writing is so fantastic that I wanted to read forever :giggle:). Your title was superbly chosen, and I thought it really helped add the final 'polish' to this poem. Lovely, lovely job. I only wish my praise could be better worded... but I cannot organize my thoughts in this moment: I'm still reflecting on every lovely thing I have read (:
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my word you have no idea how much your words mean to me. Thank you
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are most definitely welcome! :tighthug: It was truly my pleasure.
I look forward to reading more!
Reply
:iconulltraz:
ulltraz Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
very good concept,very subtle the changes,very subtle!!!thatīs what i liked the most!!!
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconulltraz:
ulltraz Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
you are welcome!!!and i owe a birthday present!!!i have not forgotten,just lacking time!!!
Reply
:iconsukoshikaze:
Sukoshikaze Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
A very interesting poem for death. If I had to describe death.....

Death is another truth to this world that I see,
an inescapable fate that can occur quiet easily.

From the smallest of mistakes, like a flick of the hand,
or the greatest misfortunes, by the king's demand.

The way people see it depends on the age,
from the thing's they endured to the wars they waged.

etc, etc.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
That's amazing
Reply
:iconsukoshikaze:
Sukoshikaze Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you very much
Reply
:icontheapricotcanvas:
TheApricotCanvas Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Just. Wow.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconvaryagofmiklagaard:
VaryagOfMiklagaard Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Death simply is.

Life is a beautiful lie, while Death is the ugly truth.

I fear not Death, it is the dieing part that scares me.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
That's amazing.
Reply
:iconvaryagofmiklagaard:
VaryagOfMiklagaard Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
It's true for the most part.
Reply
:iconneko187:
Neko187 Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Life is nothing but for an unrelenting journey toward death.
Life is pain. Life is pleasure. Life is simply a fact, that we exist, we think, we live, love, and lose everything we hold dearest and closest to our hearts in the end.
Death is... peace. Death is freedom. Death is an old friend we've known our entire life, but never been able to meet. Death is solitude, the great unknown, the essence of everything that happens in this world.
Death, nothing else, is the ultimate meaning of life.
Reply
:iconvaryagofmiklagaard:
VaryagOfMiklagaard Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I prefer my explanation thanks.
Less of a mouth full.
Reply
:iconneko187:
Neko187 Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Fair enough :)
Reply
:icontilianus:
tilianus Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
"for I was dead long before death came to visit" had the most impression on me by far.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
That was my favorite line as well
Reply
:iconblacksilhoutte:
BlackSilhoutte Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow this is great.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconinfcurious-writer:
INFcurious-Writer Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's really good and leaves a nice chill running down my back. I found it interesting how you constantly switched gender roles for death, most would just use 'it' or stick with either 'he' or 'she'. It's nice to see someone leave it open.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much
Reply
:iconarzel-acruum:
Arzel-Acruum Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Was interesting, but I didn't like the ending, it was predictible, I suppose that it can't be helped when it comes to a story of Death, but still, was a little disapointing.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
In my opinion, there is only so many endings you can have with death
Reply
:iconarzel-acruum:
Arzel-Acruum Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually, I'm not the creative one when it comes to poetry or anything written, I guess my close mind got me to the right ending without even thinking. XD
But hey, I did like it, seriously, I just hope my comment wasn't to harsh, I wanted to expres my opinion. I don' read much of anything, but yours got me interested from title to end, I give you a point for getting my attention with some literature.
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Writer
It's okay! You're comment wasn't really that harsh compared to some of the other one's that I have gotten in the past
Reply
:iconxxazureyuzukixx:
xxazureyuzukixx Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
beautiful poetry as always!! the ending is so sad and touching!! C:
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconxxazureyuzukixx:
xxazureyuzukixx Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconreporaccoon:
RepoRaccoon Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Wow truly amazing
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks
Reply
:iconreporaccoon:
RepoRaccoon Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
No thank you for your amazing work and sharing it
Reply
:iconfoxwriter2:
FoxWriter2 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
I kind of wonder if using human-like terms like male and female is best to describe Death.Death feels like something flexible,something not in a materialistic form to me.All the same,a unique piece.:)
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
In that case, how would you describe death?
Reply
:iconfoxwriter2:
FoxWriter2 Featured By Owner May 29, 2013
Something that comes and goes,something that sorta takes you away and to where you should be.It's just like,used to describe a short period of time,a time right after you stop breathing,then whatever happens next won't be death anymore.So it's not a bad thing.:)
Reply
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